Note to Self
by chipofmintchocolate
Summary: In which the development of Traught is tracked through sticky notes of correspondence between Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne.
1. Artemis Crock Arrives

**Note:** Alfred writes on long, rectangular, lined sticky notes and has very small handwriting. Bruce writes on yellow square sticky notes, and his handwriting is very messy.

* * *

**Part 1: Artemis Crock Arrives**

* * *

—-

Alfred –

We are out of the coffee brand Dick likes and short on eggs and peanut butter. Do you think you could get some more at the grocery store?

Working on an intensive background check. Need protein.

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

Considering Master Richard's age, I do not thing it is wise to encourage his recently developed addiction to caffeine. It might stunt his already lacking growth, and in addition to his nightly vigilante activities, it disrupts his sleep. A thirteen-year-old should not have such dark circles under his eyes.

Jif brand peanut butter and eggs are not the most efficient source of protein, considering the saturated fats inorganic peanut butter and egg yolks contain. Might I suggest smoked salmon with low-fat cream cheese on a whole-wheat bagel instead? I would be more than happy to prepare if for you. There's no need for you to make breakfast yourself.

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. Your background check on Miss Artemis Crock? I see. Of course, I have no say in the matter, but personally I find it slightly inappropriate for a full-grown man to pry into a younger lady's affairs.

—-

Alfred –

How did you know about Crock? Oh. I left the file open in the kitchen, didn't I? Usually, I would agree with you, but it's a matter of importance. We're considering her as a candidate for the Team.

Caffeine does not affect growth. Dick can drink what he pleases.

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

I'm sure she's an upstanding girl if you're considering her so seriously. She has good grades and no record of personal misconduct. Although her expression in her picture was slightly intimidating, I have a feeling she is a gem that simply needs a bit of polishing.

Caffeine causes loss of sleep, and lack of sleep can impair a young man's growth. I will not be buying that blend of coffee any time soon, so if Master Richard wants coffee, he will have to get it somewhere else. Also, tell Master Richard if he needs something of me, he should ask me about it himself.

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. Also mention to Master Richard that I've forgiven him for the chandelier he demolished. As long as he does not plan on swinging like a monkey off of our light fixtures in the near future, we are on good terms.

—-


	2. Master Richard Expresses Interest

**Note:** This is the first time I've updated a multi-chapter fic in one day! My inspiration is on a roll with this one!

* * *

**Master Richard Expresses Interest**

* * *

—-

Alfred –

Would you take the pile of paperwork on my desk to the Gotham Academy admissions office?

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

Of course. Have you found yourself a scholarship-worthy student yet?

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. I think it might be worth mentioning that Master Richard has spent an inordinate time in your personal study. I suspect he's up to something.

—-

Alfred –

No, not yet. I still have to hear back from Gotham Academy. I skimmed over the applications, but the admissions staff has to determine whether the students qualify for the scholarship. After that, I'll make the final decision.

Yes, I know, but he's not up to anything. Dick volunteered to help me with some research on a Riddler case. At this point, he's better with computers than I am.

- B

—-

Alfred –

The head admissions counselor said they received the paperwork, but I think you left one form behind on accident. I placed it on the kitchen island so you can deliver that as well.

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

I don't recall seeing more than twenty-one applications on your desk. However, if that is the case, how embarrassing and very unlike me. I'll stop by the admissions office after I drop Master Richard off at school.

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. Master Richard was carrying a file when he last entered your office, but did not have one in hand when he came out. Out of curiosity, I examined the contents of the file you found on your desk. Do you recall seeing one Artemis Crock in your pool of applicants?

—-

Alfred –

No, I don't remember seeing Crock's application, but I wasn't paying close attention to what I was reading either.

And it seems several secure files on the Cave computer were recently hacked into.

Coincidence?

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

Sir, I think not.

Sincerely,

Alfred

—-

Alfred –

I don't understand it. I was very careful about covering my tracks after conducting that background check on Artemis Crock. How did Dick find out about this, and how did he know exactly where to look for the information he wanted? Why was he so interested?

I wanted to honor Crock's desire for secrecy, and now her cover is blown. This could ruin the Team's dynamic.

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

It is quite likely I was not the only person who saw the file you left in the kitchen a week ago. Master Richard might have also found some other lead or clue. You've gotten sloppy as of late.

The only thing unusual about the situation is Master Richard's level of curiosity. If my memory serves me right, he hasn't investigated one of your personal background checks before.

Should I call our computer technician to update your level of security?

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. Sir, if you have taught Master Richard anything, it is the art of taking secrets to the grave. I'm sure he won't find reason to reveal his knowledge about Miss Crock until the occasion calls for it. Personally, I am quite pleased to see Master Richard express a healthy interest in an attractive young woman. Considering his repugnant attitude towards Miss Gordon and the degree of intimacy he has developed in his friendship with Master West, I was a little concerned about him.

—-

Alfred –

"A healthy interest?" That's ridiculous. Dick's behavior towards Gordon's daughter is typical for his age, and as for his background check of Crock, I've simply taught Dick to know the people he's working with. This move on his part is actually quite brilliant. With Crock at Gotham Academy, it will be easier to keep an eye on her.

No, don't waste my money. Dick will just figure out how to hack the system again, and then we'll have to install a new security program.

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

Shall I remind you that you exhibited similar behavior when you developed a romantic interest in Miss Kyle and Miss al Ghul? You would not rest until you knew everything about them, and had you been a young man like Master Richard, I have no doubt you would have concocted a similar scheme.

I am absolutely sure he planted this application file in your office to make it seem like it was your idea to enroll Miss Crock in your scholarship program. By the tone of your most recent reply, I believe he succeeded.

Sincerely,

Alfred

P.S. Master Richard may not be your cognate son, but he has developed some of your mannerisms and habits. Perhaps even your taste for women with a mottled past.

—-

Alfred –

Hm. Should I play along then?

- B

—-

Master Bruce,

Why not? It will be interesting to see what move Master Richard makes next. At the very least, the consequent developments should be entertaining.

Sincerely,

Alfred

—-

* * *

A.N. If you're wondering, "Isn't Dick reading these notes?" or "Why would Bruce and Alfred gossip about Dick when he might read what they're saying?" don't worry! Your questions will be answered in Part 3.


End file.
